the grass is always greener syndrome

I believe that the universe is working in my favor.  So in that case shouldn’t the man I want, the one that gives me butterflies dancing hysterically in my stomach, be showering me with love, affection and amazing gifts? 

But he forgets I exist.  Randomly, throwing me a bone.  Instead I am left to fantasize about a life I will probably never have.  I will have to live without the chemistry that feels so palpable it almost suffocates you.  Instead, I will be sitting across from non-descript, faceless, nameless man hearing the dredge of the Charlie Brown mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah looking over the fence at the luscious, glistening, emerald grass.........